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Welcome to The Bilge Pump

Bringing you the latest fake news from across NSW and the ACT.

Shoalhaven Locals Disguise Boat Ramp as ‘Protected Wetland’ Using 40 Plastic Ferns and a ‘No Entry’ Sign to Stop Easter Tourists

LAKE CONJOLA — In a desperate bid to preserve their sanity ahead of the Easter long weekend, residents of Lake Conjola have successfully “erased” the local boat ramp from the[…]

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Local Skipper Unveils Flintstones-Inspired Fuel Saving Plan, Immediately Tears Both Hamstrings

SYDNEY — In a bold response to rising fuel costs, a local boater has introduced a “Flintstones-style propulsion system,” confirming he will now power his vessel by sticking his legs[…]

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Forensic Team Called After Guest Sprays Aerosol Sunscreen Within Five Miles of White Vinyl

PORT HACKING — A local social gathering turned into a high-stakes investigation on Saturday when a “rogue” guest pulled out a bottle of SPF 50+ aerosol spray. Despite the captain’s[…]

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