PITTWATER — In a surprising move that critics say is purely retaliatory, NSW Maritime has proposed a brand new regulation: The “PWC (Petty Wealth Compensation) Surcharge,” effectively a tax on all vessels under 15 feet caught “being comically successful.” The move comes just days after the Tinnie Kings incident.

Under the proposed guidelines, any vessel registered with a value under $10,000 that successfully out-fishes a vessel with a helipad must immediately surrender 25% of their catch to a nearby superyacht owner. Furthermore, tinnies are now prohibited from “displaying signs of genuine joy” within 500 meters of a marina housing luxury cruisers.

“This is about maintaining the social order,” said a spokesperson for the newly formed Department of Ego Preservation. “If tinnie owners are allowed to catch large fish with impunity, what motivation does a millionaire have to buy a useless three-deck yacht? This is a slippery slope to financial responsibility, and we cannot let that happen in Sydney Harbour.”

More to come.