MENINDEE — A local fisherman’s quest for a legendary “meter-plus” cod took a turn for the archaeological this week when his heavy-duty lure snagged on something remarkably solid in the shrinking weir pool. After a ten-minute struggle with what he assumed was a submerged log, he hauled in a mud-encrusted Nokia 3310.

“I wiped the silt off the screen and the bloody thing lit up,” the fisherman reported, visibly shaken. “It’s still got two bars of battery and a high score of 4,500 on Snake”. It’s understood the man attempted to take a picture of his catch using his iPhone 17 Pro Max, however, it would not turn on after being exposed to a single direct ray of sunlight and a light dusting of Menindee topsoil.

The Department of Primary Industries has officially listed “Relic Mobile Devices” as an invasive species, noting that the phone is currently more resilient than the entire local ecosystem. Local tech experts suggest that if the drought continues, the Nokia could be used as a structural foundation for a new boat ramp, as it is likely the only object in the Far West capable of withstanding both a Category 5 dust storm and a direct hit from a reversing boat trailer.

More to come.